Developing a Growth Mindset in Mathematics: From "I Can't" to "I Can't Yet"

“I’m just not a maths person.” “I can’t do this.” “I’m rubbish at maths.” Sound familiar? These fixed mindset statements are incredibly common—and incredibly damaging. But here’s the good news: mathematical ability isn’t fixed at birth. Research shows that with the right approach, any child can develop strong maths skills and, more importantly, the resilience to tackle challenging problems.

Understanding Fixed vs Growth Mindset

Fixed Mindset:

• “I’m either good at maths or I’m not”
• Avoids challenges (might reveal inadequacy)
• Gives up easily when stuck
• Sees effort as pointless if you lack natural ability
• Feels threatened by others’ success
• Ignores useful feedback

Growth Mindset:

• “I can improve my maths skills with effort and practice”
• Embraces challenges (opportunities to learn)
• Persists when things get difficult
• Sees effort as the path to mastery
• Finds inspiration in others’ success
• Learns from feedback and criticism

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck’s research demonstrates that students with growth mindsets outperform their fixed mindset peers—even when they start at the same level. The difference? They see mistakes as information, not failure.

Why Mindset Matters in Mathematics

Mathematics is uniquely vulnerable to fixed mindset thinking. Unlike reading (where everyone accepts that practice improves skill), maths is often seen as a talent you either have or don’t. This myth is reinforced by:

• Adults saying “I was never good at maths either”
• Praising quick answers over thoughtful problem-solving
• Timed tests that reward speed over understanding
• Ability grouping that labels some children as “not maths people”

The result? Many children give up on maths before they’ve even started, convinced that struggle means they lack ability. But neuroscience tells us differently: brains grow stronger through challenge and mistake-making. Struggle isn’t a sign of inability—it’s the very mechanism of learning.

Practical Strategies for Building Growth Mindset

1. Change Your Praise Language

Don’t say: “You’re so clever at maths!” Do say: “I love how you kept trying different strategies until you found one that worked!”

Don’t say: “You got it right! You’re brilliant!” Do say: “Your hard work on this really paid off. Show me your thinking process.”

Don’t say: “This is easy for you, isn’t it?” Do say: “This challenge really made you think. How did you figure it out?”

Praise effort, strategies, persistence, and improvement—not innate ability or speed.

2. Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities

When your child makes a mistake:

Celebrate it: “Brilliant! This mistake is going to teach us something important.”

Analyze it together: “Let’s figure out where this went differently than expected.”

Find the learning: “What do you understand now that you didn’t before?”

Normalize struggle: “Even mathematicians make mistakes constantly—that’s how they discover new things!”

Create an environment where mistakes are expected, examined, and valued. Some families even have “best mistake of the day” discussions at dinner, sharing what they learned from errors.

3. Use “Yet” Power

Transform negative statements by adding one powerful word: yet.

• “I can’t solve this” → “I can’t solve this yet”
• “I don’t understand fractions” → “I don’t understand fractions yet”
• “I’m not good at word problems” → “I’m not good at word problems yet”

This tiny word completely changes the meaning from fixed (“I lack ability”) to growth (“I’m on a learning journey”).

4. Model Growth Mindset Yourself

Children learn more from what we do than what we say. Show them your own growth mindset:

• Share your struggles: “I found this recipe conversion tricky. Let me think through it step by step.”
• Show persistence: “This didn’t work. Let me try a different approach.”
• Admit mistakes: “I got that wrong! Let’s figure out where my thinking went off track.”
• Embrace challenges: “I’ve never used this app before. This will be interesting to figure out!”

If you say “I was never good at maths” in front of your child, you’re teaching them that maths ability is fixed and inherited. Instead: “I found maths challenging at school, but I wish I’d known then that practice and different strategies could help me improve.”

5. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection

Keep a “Learning Journey” notebook:

• Record what was challenging last month vs now
• Document “breakthrough” moments
• Track strategies that worked
• Note questions that sparked curiosity

Use progress language:

• “Last week this type of problem took you 10 minutes. Now you can do it in 5!”
• “Remember when you couldn’t factor at all? Look how far you’ve come!”
• “You’re understanding more of this each time you practice”

Progress evidence builds confidence and demonstrates that effort leads to improvement.

6. Teach About Brain Plasticity

Help children understand that their brains physically change through learning:

• “When you practice maths, your brain builds new connections, like paths through a forest. The more you practice, the stronger those paths become.”
• Show them resources like Khan Academy’s “You Can Learn Anything” video
• Explain that making mistakes actually strengthens brain growth more than getting things right immediately

Understanding the science of learning helps children see struggle as productive, not as evidence of inadequacy.

Reframing Common Situations

Situation: “This is too hard! I can’t do it!”

Fixed Response: “Yes you can! You’re smart enough.”

Growth Response: “This is challenging right now. What strategies could we try? Breaking it into smaller steps might help.”

Situation: Child completes worksheet quickly and correctly.

Fixed Response: “Perfect! You’re a natural at this!”

Growth Response: “You’ve mastered this level. Ready for something more challenging that will really make you think?”

Situation: Child compares themselves to a higher-achieving peer.

Fixed Response: “Don’t worry, everyone has different strengths.”

Growth Response: “They’ve had more practice with this. What can you learn from how they approach it?”

Situation: Child gets a poor test result.

Fixed Response: “It’s okay, not everyone is good at maths.”

Growth Response: “This shows us what you need to work on. Let’s make a plan to improve these specific areas.”

Activities That Build Growth Mindset

1. Problem-Solving Challenges

Give problems slightly above their current level. The goal isn’t necessarily to solve them, but to develop persistence and strategy-building.

Example: “This problem should take you about 20 minutes of real thinking. I don’t expect you to get it immediately—try different approaches.”

2. “Stuck Points” Discussion

When stuck, ask:

• “What do you already know about this?”
• “What’s one small step you could take?”
• “What would you try if you couldn’t fail?”
• “Who could you ask for help?”
• “What similar problems have you solved before?”

These questions shift focus from “I can’t” to “What strategy might work?“

3. Teach Someone Else

Understanding deepens when we explain concepts to others. Have your child:

• Teach a concept to a younger sibling
• Explain their thinking process to you
• Create a tutorial video for imaginary students

Teaching requires deep understanding and builds confidence.

4. Maths Puzzles and Games

Games like:

• Logic puzzles (Sudoku, KenKen)
• Strategy games (chess, checkers)
• Pattern-finding activities
• Open-ended investigations

These develop problem-solving skills in low-pressure environments where “trying things out” is expected.

Language That Supports Growth Mindset

Use process-focused language:

• “What strategy did you use?”
• “How did you figure that out?”
• “What could you try next?”
• “What did this mistake teach you?”

Avoid ability-focused language:

• “You’re so clever/talented”
• “This should be easy for you”
• “Some people are just natural maths whizzes”
• “You’re not a maths person”

Replace can’t with specific next steps:

• Instead of: “I can’t do this”
• Try: “I need to review how to find common denominators before I can add these fractions”

Dealing with Setbacks

Even with growth mindset strategies, children will have difficult days. When setbacks happen:

Acknowledge feelings: “I can see you’re frustrated. This is really challenging.”

Separate performance from identity: “You’re finding this particular concept difficult right now” (not “you’re bad at maths”).

Take strategic breaks: “Let’s step away and come back with fresh eyes.”

Review progress: “Remember how hard [previous concept] seemed? You mastered that through practice.”

Plan next steps: “What’s one thing we could do this week to help you understand this better?”

Warning Signs of Fixed Mindset

Watch for these red flags:

• Avoiding homework or new topics
• Only doing problems they already know how to solve
• Extreme emotional reactions to mistakes
• Giving up immediately when stuck
• Comparing themselves negatively to others
• Saying “I’m just not smart enough”

Early intervention can help redirect these patterns before they become entrenched.

Age-Appropriate Growth Mindset Strategies

Ages 5-7:

• Use simple language: “Your brain is like a muscle—it gets stronger with practice!”
• Read growth mindset picture books
• Celebrate effort with specific praise: “You tried three different ways!”
• Make learning playful and low-stakes

Ages 8-10:

• Introduce the concept of “brain plasticity”
• Share stories of famous failures who persisted (Thomas Edison, J.K. Rowling)
• Encourage goal-setting with achievable steps
• Use sports/music analogies: “You didn’t give up learning to ride your bike when you fell off”

Ages 11-15:

• Discuss the science of learning and neuroplasticity
• Talk about how experts became experts (10,000 hour rule, deliberate practice)
• Help them identify specific strategies that work for their learning style
• Encourage reflection: “What did you learn about yourself as a learner this week?”

Resources for Parents

Books:

• “Mindset” by Carol Dweck
• “Mathematical Mindsets” by Jo Boaler
• “The Growth Mindset Coach” by Annie Brock

Videos:

• Khan Academy: “You Can Learn Anything”
• Carol Dweck: “The Power of Believing That You Can Improve” (TED Talk)
• Jo Boaler: “How to Learn Math” (Stanford online course)

Websites:

• YouCubed.org (Stanford’s mathematics education resources)
• MindsetKit.org (growth mindset activities and resources)

The Bottom Line

Mathematical ability is not fixed—but the belief that it is can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When children believe they can improve through effort, they:

• Persist longer with difficult problems
• Try multiple strategies instead of giving up
• See mistakes as information rather than failure
• Achieve higher results over time

Your role as a parent isn’t to make maths easy or to convince your child they’re naturally brilliant. It’s to help them understand that struggling is learning, that mistakes are valuable, and that with effective strategies and persistence, they can master mathematical concepts that seem impossible right now.

The most powerful message you can give your child isn’t “you’re smart”—it’s “you can grow.” That belief, combined with effective learning strategies and supportive environments, transforms how children approach not just mathematics, but all challenges in life.

Remember: It’s not about “I can” or “I can’t”—it’s about “I can’t yet.”